Too Many Cords

I’m a hopeless romantic.
I have this Eden-esque fantasy where all of the cords to all my hardware are neatly wrapped and labeled and managed and stored out of view.
I often spend entire afternoons with ties and clips and other doodads, attempting to construct this utopia.
And I always fail. Like I did today.
Let’s review:

1. Powerstrip #1
2. Powerstrip #2
3. Powerstrip #3
4. USB 2.0 #1 drive power pack and power cord
5. USB 2.0 #1 USB cable to USB hub
6. USB 2.0 #2 drive power pack and power cord
7. USB 2.0 #2 USB cable to USB hub
8. USB 2.0 #3 drive power pack and power cord
9. USB 2.0 #3 USB cable to USB hub
10. USB hub to desktop cable
11. USB hub power pack and cable
12. Router power cable
13. Router to DSL Modem cable
14. Router to Desktop Ethernet cable
15. Router to Laptop Ethernet cable
16. DSL Modem power cable
17. DSL to DSL Filter cable
18. DSL Filter to phone jack cable
19. Telephone headset to keypad cord
20. Telephone keypad to DSL filter cable
21. Telephone recording adapter to DSL filter cable
22. Telephone recording adapter to Olympus digital recorder cable
23. Olympus digital recorder to USB hub cable
24. Laptop power cable to laptop and to powerstrip
25. Laptop USB 2.0 PCMIA card with power cord into existing USB slot on laptop
26. Printer to desktop USB cable
27. Printer power cord
28. iPod to desktop cable
29. Keyboard to USB hub cable
30. Mouse to Keyboard USB cable
31. Computer speakers power cord
32. Subwoofer to desktop cord
33. Channel left speaker to subwoofer cord
34. Channel right speaker to subwoofer cord
35. Audio controller to subwoofer cord
36. LCD panel power cord
37. LCD panel to desktop power cord
38. DVD burner power cable
39. DVD to USB hub power cable
40. iSight to Desktop Firewire cable
41. Mac Mini power cord and power adapter
42. Cellphone charger
43. (waiting) USB headset/mic
44. (waiting in other room) Multi-channel sound mixing board
45. (waiting in other room) Unidirectional microphone
46. (waiting in other room) Audio compressor and bord
47. (waiting in closet) KORG n-360 keyboard
48. (and I could even count the entertainment area:) TV power cable, TV to DVD cables, PS2 power cable, PS2 controller cables, VCR power cable, TV to VCR cable, DVD speaker cables (five channels + subwoofer)
49. (almost forgot) My cable cable! For cable TV!

The part that really makes Baby Jesus cry is the adapters that don’t have a cord from the adapter to the plug – you can’t plug those MFs in alongside the rest of the setup into the powerstrips – requiring you to get more powerstrips. I think I need to start wearing one of those monitors that X-ray techs where that can tell you how much radiation you’re absorbing each day.
I next hare-brained scheme would be to make a net or black mesh sheet that acts like an envelope/bag to contain all of this mess and hide it out of view. Or mount a wooden box painted black with a lid on the back of the computer desk to just throw all this stuff in and then have a few holes where the cords can come out.
Wi-fi. My ass, wi-fi.
Paperless office? Cordless office? Don’t make me laugh.